• photo of diverse group of people holding hands looking down

Safety Planning Tips:

If you are still in the relationship:

  • Identify safe areas of the house where there are no weapons and where there are always ways to escape. If arguments occur, try to move to those areas.
  • Don't run to where the children are as your partner may hurt them as well.
  • Let trusted friends and neighbors know of your situation and develop a plan and visual signal for when you need help. Have a code word with friends or family that means you need help.
  • Teach your children how to get help. Instruct them not to get involved in the violence between you and your partner. Have a code word to signal to them that they should get help or leave the house.
  • Keep weapons like guns and knives locked up and as inaccessible as possible.
  • Think about and make a list of safe people to contact.
  • Have a suitcase ready with a couple changes of clothes for you and your children. Hide it somewhere in the house or leave it with a trusted friend.


If you have left the relationship:

  • Change your phone number and screen calls.
  • Think about social media safety (making accounts private, un-friending individuals, and not posting your location)
  • Save and document all contacts, messages, injuries, or other incidents involving the offender (make a copy of this and put it in a safe place or with a safe friend).
  • Change the locks in your home and lock the windows and doors every night. Avoid staying alone.
  • If you have to meet your partner, do it in a public place.
  • Vary your routine. Take different routes home, to work or to run errands.
  • Open a checking/savings account in only your name. Do not continue to use a joint account.

Important Documents

These are some important papers and documents you will need to have to be able to apply for benefits or take legal action. Make sure to keep them somewhere safe.

  • Social security cards
  • Birth certificates for you and your children
  • Passports, green cards and/or work permits
  • Marriage license
  • Bank statements, credit cards and/or checkbooks
  • Insurance policies
  • Proof of income for you and your spouse (pay stubs or W-2’s)
  • Any documentation of past incidents of abuse (photos, police reports, medical records, orders of protection, etc.)